I heart VD (valentine’s silly) or kill cupid day

Posted on February 9th, 2008 by Greta

Dang, how did Valentine’s Day sneak up on us so fast? We just finished Mardi Gras, does anyone really care about it but Hallmark? Seems I only cared about Valentines’ Day when I was alone on it – it sucked. It seemed hubby was deployed or away most Valentine’s Day. However, he always sent me a really nice gift. Now that he doesn’t travel for work anymore, I don’t expect anything but a kiss and maybe a sappy cards. The kids will get a little sumthin sumthin and I have to do class cards for Princess Whinalot and candy for the boys to hand out in class.

I think I found the most unique Valentine’s gift this year! Despair, Inc. has Conversational Hearts called Bittersweets – with their own sick twist! They have 3 groups: dejected, dysfunctional and dumped. Bwahahaha, the site also says, “Supplies are limited. But the pain that accompanies them may not be.” They come in six different flavors: Banana Chalk, Grape Dust, Nappy-Citric, You-Call-This-Lime?, Pink Sand and Fossilized Antacid.

1. “Dejected” sayings include: I MISS MY EX, PEAKED AT 17, MAIL ORDER, TABLE FOR 1, I CRY ON Q, U C MY BLOG?, LOSS LEADER, A FINE WHINE, MOMMY ISSUES, DIGNITY, FREE, DORK MAGNET, PURE NAUSEA, WE HAD PLANS, MAIL ORDER, SETTLE 4LESS, I’M HOT INSIDE

2. “Dysfunctional” sayings include: ANNULMENT, I BEEN CREEPIN, HE CAN LISTEN, GAME ON TV, CALL A 900#, P.S. I LUV ME , DO MY DISHES, BOOTY INFL8N, PAROLE IS UP!, AWFUL INLAWS, SUB PRIM, I WANT HALF, RETURN 2 PIT, NO FIX 4 DUMB, RATHER DRINK, MUTUAL DISGUST

3. “Dumped” sayings include: I GOT SOBER, HE FIT U FAT, U LEFT SEATUP, USED U 4 FUN, JUST A FRIEND, BACK 2 KENNEL, DORKA PHOBIC, U HAVE A BLOG, RUSSIAN BRIDE, CELEB8 THX2U, DOG IS CUTER, TRADIN YOU IN, FORGET WE MET, KISS A FROG, SHE IS 22!, HE HAS A JOB

I leave you with a sick MAD TV Valentine skit