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Sunday AM started bright and early in Pasadena. I attended a fabulous lunch at 7:15 AM with some gret e-friends (who I met in person for the first time). They drove me to LAX and dropped me off at 10AM or my 11:45 flight after a delicious California breakfast. What could possibly go wrong? GRRRR! But in the real scheme of life, The Princess of Positive made lemonade out of the lemons thrown at her that day. Or was that Margaritas?

* 10:15 I call my friends to tell them I was at the gate already (security was a breeze) and thanks for the ride!
* The guy in front of me in security was one of “those” people. I will now call them, the “TSA lollygaggers.” You know, the ones who back up the line and the buckets after they go through the screening conveyor belt. The knuckleheads who feel they must do everything right there and could not possibly take 5 steps and move the heck out of the way?
* No free wireless in LAX (MSY rocks). $10 please – tight-wads.
* I see a couple of people at the ticket counter saying something about New Orleans (hair on back of neck rises). Must be nosey and find out what the scoop is.
* What? Oh, Desmond the Delta person, you say there is NO PLANE scheduled to come in the terminal until 4:30. Well, what are our options? Oh, all the rest will be connection flights instead of the wonderful direct flight I purchased. OK, I’ll wait and take the $7 meal (lol – more like coke voucher) and make the best of it.
* Also standing with me was an Australian gentleman who offered to buy me a drink while we waited. Seems the previous nights hangover (from drinking too long and not to excess) had cleared and hey – it was noon. I obliged and we had fun chit-chatting!
* Time to look for Desmond who probably took the Batmobile home after realizing we were all screwed as there was not going to be a Delta plane coming in the whole freaking (or bloody if you are an Aussie) day!
* Got to Customer service and see what you can do you say??? K.
* I wish I had my tiara on. Situations always go more smoothly with something sparkly on your head.
* Off to customer service. The line was long with people in the same situation. Desmond had booked many of us on a United flight to go out at 6:30 – he redeemed himself with me!
* I tried to help 2 doctors who had clinics the next day and didn’t get booked on the United flight. Geeky laptop surfing Greta to the rescue. Turns out they can make a Southwest flight if they run like superheroes through the airport (with an elderly woman in tow). Yes, they will have to pay for it – but it was their best bet.
* So now I have to leave the gate and re-check in in Delta and pray my luggage will be there? OK – sounds like fun (like poking my eyes out with a stick). Fercryingoutloud, who thought of this idea?
* So my Aussie friend and I head on over to the United terminal (why the heck didn’t I wear sneakers – oh yes – fashion is supposed to hurt) and proceed to check in to the short e-ticket line.
* D’oh! If you have a passport – you have to wait in the longest line (I call them Disney lines as they twist and turn so psychologically it doesn’t feel as long) humanly possible and then get your ticket.
* I’ll wait – like I have anything better to do???
* “Who belongs to the red suitcase by the door (the United – now TED worker yells)?” A small profanity leaks from my Princess lips and is heard by others. Finally a lady comes to claim her suitcase. I was ready to smack her! Like anyone can leave a suitcase at a front door that will not cause alarm – geesh – dumb people!
* Time to go through security…AGAIN.
* OH goody! This time I have the special code that the TSA rep puts red marker on which requires the “bonus” security check (and so does my Aussie friend). Looks like cavity searches for us.
* Turns out I had to be felt up patted down by an overzealous TSA agent. She took no less than 10 swabs from my personal belongings – WTH???
* YAY – the new flight is delayed – time to cash in the vouchers with my friend. Let me remind you a stupid sandwich costs $8, $7 doesn’t go far – but it is only money (and I have a money tree on my front lawn).
* Better get back to the gate and – oh – our flight is now waaaaaay delayed and the time keeps-a-changing in 10 minute intervals.
* Not a good feeling when you sit at another gate for 3 hours and don’t see signs of any AIRPLANE ACTIVITY!!!! Hello – I am at an airport!
* Finally at 9:40 we are headed back to MSY. Poor hubby will have to meet me there at 2 AM (he wouldn’t let me take a cab ) and insisted he would pick me up!
* I end up taking a snooze or else I would have had to smack the guy next to me who giggled like a cartoon character as he watched the stupid movies the whole flight. Very annoying!
* Yep, all the luggage came out and all the AM Delta passengers kept their good attitudes. I almost lost it at this point (before I saw my luggage). A fella reminded me that I had been positive all day (at which point I gave him a business card so he could read today’s post- lol) and now was not the time to lose it. Yay for my luggage and I was home by 3 AM!
* I made a new Aussie friend who I never would have met otherwise and I made it home safely!
* Now to go write an unpleasant letter to Delta and also give kudos to Desmond for getting many of us booked in before he disappeared for fear of a mob of angry people. Who, despite the bad luck, turned out to all be so wonderful!
* Now to drive my parents to the airport for their 5:30 flight today. Hope they have better luck!

Disclaimer – anything wrong with this post today is Delta’s fault! “They” are to blame!
***safe for work Planes, Trains and Automobiles video montage

Don’t forget, you can read this on NOLA.com and my fabulous personal blog with tons of lagniappe! Must go drink coffee!

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