These specific lessons were learned YESTERDAY. It is 8 AM as I am starting to write this post and I will hear or pay for the mistakes I made all day (fer sure). Feel no pity for The Princess of Positive, but laugh “with” her and “for” her as it hurts to laugh (and yes, you can laugh at her)!!!
1. If it looks like a dog leash, it is probably not one.
About 1:30, hubby got in a panic.
Hubby: “Greta, did you see my parade leash?”
Me: “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
Hubby: “It was orange and looks like a dog leash.”
Me: “(insert your own expletive here), I gave it to our neighbor thinking it was his when I gave them a bag with a bunch of stuff their kids have left at the house, and now they are away skiing.”
Hubby: “Well I have to have it.”
Me: “(more expletives), I’ll see who is watching their house.”
So I start my quest, calling neighbors, calling their cell phones which do not get reception in the mountains, call their workplace. An hour later, his brother meets me and lets me in. There it is hanging with the dog leashes. Snoopy dance!
2. Setting up beads on a float is not easy business.
Hubby is type B, but being a newbie to the whole parade thing, you’d think he would have panicked just a little – nope. He planned to arrive about 3:30 at his float to start setting up (he had to work that day). The parade did not roll until 7:00, so he was sure he would have plenty of time (he told me it would take him 30 minuted – tops BWAHAHAHAHA. So me and my dad drove him and his throws to the start point and you can tell that many of the people have been setting up all day. And of course, they all had the coolest beads and throws in the world. There had been some major partying going on too as there was all kind of food and beverages (adult) to choose from. Hubby immediately noticed he didn’t have any “special” beads, but boy did he buy lots of the plain ole’ beads. I could have stayed and helped a little, but nope – this was his gig. The kids and I stopped by before the parade and he had worked very hard the whole time. He had time to play, meet the guys on his float and have a few beers. He did just fine with what he had – but he’ll know better next year! More cool beads and throws!
3. Walking long distances with 3 kids, a cooler, a rolling suitcase and a chair is never a good idea!
Stein Mart to the Capital One building is a bit of a walk, but the roads will be closed, so it shouldn’t be that bad…..wrong! It was a nice idea and I loved who we hung out with, but too long a walk (at least we had bathroom access when we got there) with stuff for this mom!
4. The passenger side of the float is the passenger side – not the driver’s side.
If you tell everyone for 2 days (including the company you were keeping at the parade) that your hubby is riding on the passenger side and nobody ever corrects you when you sit on the driver’s side, you are a big dork having a blonde moment (fake blonde counts too). As float #10 passed I let out *%&! and the kids, in a flash of my eye, ran in front of the float as the driver leaned on the horn (crawl under rock now Greta). Thanks goodness they didn’t get hit. We all saw hubby but he only noticed my daughter who was on someone’s shoulder. I’ll NEVER hear the end of this one.
5. Watching a parade TWICE in one night is too much for a mortal human.
Son #1 was disappointed that dad did not see him the first time round, so I agreed for a second. We walked from my house to the end of the parade route and caught up with all our neighbors. Dammit – I was going to make sure I had every neighborhood kid with me on the “PASSENGER” side when float #10 came by. So here I am, exhausted at this point and probably a little liquored up, as I had been imbibing for 4 hours already! Me and the kids are all yelling “Brett” and he is nowhere to be found. OMG – you gotta be kidding me! I told the neighborhood kids that he was probably in the “potty” on the float at that time. Son#1 and I followed him to the unloading spot and I quickly grilled him where he was. He told me he was out of beads so he was hanging with different people throwing out their beads and he was probably hanging on the DRIVERS SIDE- UGH!!!!
6. Dragging stuff home through the park at 10:30 after a good rain is not an easy task!
Turns out, whoever had leftover beads on hubby’s float, started hurling them on the ground. We decided to go for the free pre-packaged beads and load them in the cooler and rolling bag. So me, hubby and #1 son trudged through the mud with tons of crud!!! Ouch – my aching back and innerds (still just one month post- hysterectomy)!
7. Being in a Krewe is a rush!
Hubby can’t wait to do it all over again next year! I can’t wait to do it for the first time next year.